The Love Story of Joseph Big
By: Deming Harriman
Joseph Big is well, quite big
And he’s in love with Alice Twig
But Alice Twig is very thin
And her love he’ll never win
For who could love someone like he
Who is three times the size of she
So Joseph though, “What will I do?”
And then it clicked and Joseph knew
If he dropped a pound or four
She’d come running to his door
So he though “Okay I’ll run”
But he gets tired in the sun
“Maybe if I just look the part
The I’ll win Alice’s heart”
Joseph heard that stripes were slimming
But he found they weren’t so trimming
He tried poka dots and checkers too
But he found nothing would do
Sad and beat Joseph did cry
Until he heard someone asking “why?”
And who was it but no one else
Than Alice Twig her very self
He cried, “I love you Alice but I’m to fat!
You’ll never love me if I’m like that!”
She smiled and said “Joseph I’ve loved you all along
The way you look, that’s nothing wrong!”
And with that the lovers did wed
And now across the town it’s said
The Joseph Big and Alice Twig
Are the happiest couple that ever lived